Human Book Club Story #1 | Why Can’t I Empathize?

Hey Guys! Welcome or welcome back to my blog!

So, yesterday, I had shared an idea of a human book club, where you can just share your problems/traits/anecdotes or just rant. Of course, it’s completely anonymous- I can’t even see your emails, so don’t worry about that either! Click here if you wish to submit something. Please do, it might be good to get things off your chest, and I or anyone else won’t even know who you are!

Also, since most of you wish to be anonymous, I will be titling my post as the main theme of the issue. So, keep an eye out for my posts, especially if you don’t follow me!

Secondly, I would like to thank everybody who sent in entries. I will be trying to solve your issues, or just try to comfort you.

I will be posting a story every Sunday- of course, only if I have enough entries.

Disclaimer: I am not a qualified professional, I am just someone who likes helping people, and that’s what I am trying to do here! I also don’t mean to offend anyone, so forgive me if I say something wrong.

Let’s move on to our first story for today!

A weird trait I have is that in some cases I’m unable to feel empathy or understand the consequences of my actions, and others really think that I genuinely don’t care about them, when it’s just that I find that to a certain extent I can’t! I haven’t found others like this, and my family thinks I want attention. But I just don’t know.

So, um, I just think that for the empathy part, you just haven’t been in the other person’s shoes. Or maybe, you have been through so much, that you just don’t think that the other person’s problem is …. important enough, if that makes sense? While I am empathetic in general, I have been in both of these situations, honestly.

There have been many many many instances when I haven’t been able to understand what the other person is fussing about, because I just hadn’t been in their shoes. For example, one of my best friend’s brother was getting married, and they were terribly sad about it. Like, they didn’t want their brother to go- they were happy, but sad too. And I just couldn’t figure out why they were as sad as they were. But like, my sibling went away for a few days, and I missed them so much, and I figured out what they were talking about. Like sure, the first few days would be fun, being the sole sibling in the house and stuff. Also, this is an anecdote from when I was an immature kid, so don’t judge me too harshly!
Another, better example, is that, one of my friends moved to another country. They were unhappy over there, for the first few months, and I couldn’t fathom why. I mean, it’s a country I plan on living in the future! But once I actually talked to them, I figured how difficult it was for them to adapt to well just about everything.

To talk about the second situation, I actually lost my grandfather earlier this year. At the same time, one of my friends was going through a break up, and they really liked the person. At that time (it was wrong of me, mind you, I know that), I felt like what a trivial issue are they whining about. And I have been in the same spot as them, but I guess part of me just forgot how painful that was too.

But none of these situations imply that I don’t love them. So, I feel like as long as you love them, it’s okay to not be able to empathize. As long as you are there for them, and there to comfort them, it’s fine. And you mentioned it was just in some cases, so that’s okay! All of us are unable to empathize sometimes, it’s just a human thing! I would just advise you to close your eyes for a moment, and imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes. Imagine your emotions had you been in their place.

As for being unable to judge or understand the consequences of your actions, come on, everyone does that! What’s important is that you work towards not doing that again. Just place yourself in the other person’s shoes, just take a moment and pause there.

Overall, I would just advise you to pause for a moment, and put yourself in the other person’s shoes. If that doesn’t work, talk to the other person. Try to understand their point of view.

Also, as long as you love the other person and do care about them, it is okay. Your family might feel like you are seeking attention, and they might say things that hurt you, just remember that you know that you love them and it’s a genuine issue that you face. It might be difficult to not let the things your family says to get to you, but you must stay true to yourself.

I hope I was able to help you! You can either comment in the comments below, or you can use the same form to get back to me (just mention that it was you, well, in some way, just mention that). Also, everyone else, do let me know what you would have done in their place!

19 thoughts on “Human Book Club Story #1 | Why Can’t I Empathize?

Add yours

  1. Anyways, I don’t think being less empathetic is a bad thing, because it is a very difficult feeling to feel. I mean, not bragging or anything, but I empathize pretty easily, it’s a part of my personality traits, but I also know that lots of people can’t, so it’s fine really. Maybe it will get better with trying. Try not to think too much about it and ignore the people who make you feel bad for it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m the opposite, I over empathize, which can suck I tell you.
    I think a lack of empathy isn’t necessarily a bad thing as long as you’re not going out of your way or deliberately trying to hurt anyone’s feelings. If it’s something you’re genuinely concerned about my suggestion would be to seek therapy. They will be able to give you the tools to deal with any situations that may require empathy or understanding.

    Liked by 1 person

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The Human Book Club

-by Riddhi @Whispering Stories


BOOKS, mythology and Feels.

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