Reasons: Why I feel old at 17.

Hey guys! Welcome or welcome back to my blog!

So, I was born in 2004. And honestly, I find the idea of anyone being born after that absurd. I am comfortable with the fact that people are younger than me, but when people say I was born in 2011, I am just like, whoa, that’s so late! (Yes, I am aware people cannot be born late)

And then in the past couple of years, when I’ve started using social media and stuff, I just feel… old. Like I am here at 17, whiling away my days, doing practically nothing, and there are literal people younger than me or my age changing the world or something. Not just that, I feel like despite the fact that I act like a kid most of the time, my mental age is just simply not 17, it’s more. I know it feels like a brag, but let’s get into the points to see if it’s true or not.

1. The Death of two grandparents in the span of six months:
   Just to be clear, I am not playing the sympathy card or anything, I am merely stating a fact.
   I lost my paternal grandmother in January 2021, and my maternal grandpa in May 2021. And honestly, when you’re at an age where you’re young, but you can still understand the mourning and sadness and everything- that ages you. A lot of us have lost a family member in the past couple of years, and I feel like we’ve aged with that, the ones who’re like 14-17 years of age. I don’t know, just a personal thought.
   
2. COVID:
   I just need to say one sentence here: I was 15 when the pandemic started and now I am 17- time has flown.
   
3. People younger than me:
   Okay, look. When I was in middle school, and there were people younger than me, I was like cool okay. But I see us today, and I realise people just one grade below me have so very different lives. Like, there are legit amazing films these people don’t know about, and I just feel old, because we grew up with those classics-like Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, Dil Chahta Hai and other classic Bollywood films. What’s more, these kids grew up with technology, and I still remember the days when only one family member had a phone, and that too, a Nokia. I bet people 12-13 year olds don’t even know what Nokia is!
   
4. People younger than me, dating:
   I talk to people, and I see them dating. I am not talking about 13-14 year olds, I am talking about 9-10 year olds. I mean, are kids that old even like capable of understanding what’s going on? Do they even comprehend what dating is exactly? Are their brains developed enough for like, everything? And it’s not even holding hands, it’s like kissing on the cheek- let me amend that- *just* kissing. So, I don’t know, holding hands is still a big deal for everyone around me, and people in my batch, so this just makes me feel old. Like, idk. It’s just weird, and I don’t know, makes me feel like I am orthodox?
   
5. Instagram:
   Okay, so there’s this batchmate of mine, who has a sibling who’s in the 8th grade, I think. And the entire grade has mobile phones and their parents have allowed them to have Instagram and everything. Now, the phone thing, I understand, but Instagram? There were just like a few kids who were on Instagram when I was in 8th grade- we used to use this app called QuizUp to chat with each other! And what’s more, all of these kids make reels with loads of make up on and everything! Nothing wrong with it, but we were just goofing off when we were in 8th grade- we didn’t know half the make up products.
   
6. The fact that I think of consequences to everything:
   I know this is supposed to be like a good thing, but for me, it’s just another thing which makes me feel old. Like, the Ukraine Russia war made me think about the environmental consequences too. And I hate, I hate that all these so called world leaders are not thinking about the next generation- they’re thinking about themselves. That’s not leadership. The amount of pollution is going to ensure there is no next generation.
   
7. Talks and fights with friends.
   At 17, my friends and I are talking about Islamophobia, homophobia, and politics and whatnot. Aren’t we supposed to be “living the teenage dream” or whatever? Like isn’t everything that’s going on in the world- wars, climate change etc. etc. just too much for someone who’s figuring out what to do with their own life? Like, does no one think about our mental health, or do they just not care? Like honestly, haven’t we gone through enough, being cooped up in our house when we should have been out, having fun, and actually socializing?
   What’s more, when as friends we’ve fights, it’s not about silly things like who won the game or who cheated or whatever. It’s about actually being there for the other person.

So, yeah, idk. Like we’re supposed to be competing or need to better than these born-shrewd kids, and we’re just like normal kids, not born-shrewd.

I know this post was a bit off-brand for this blog, and what’s to follow is even more off-brand- it’s an unfinished draft of a poem, so like yeah.

It’s a weird time right now
Ukraine Russia at war
Causing my mental health to collapse
How am I to operate
When my future is at risk

The world’s on the verge of World War III
It’s just about to tip over
And fall into the deep, dark abyss of chaos
And I am afraid
That it’ll never return.

All the weapons
All the missiles
All the bombs
All that pollution
Is ruining my future

Why should I even work for my future
When I may not have one.

I need to add a few more stanzas to the poem, but like yeah.

I know it was an off-brand post for the blog, but like yeah, I liked writing this kind of thoughtful post. Let me know what you thought in the comments.